An Unspeakable Christmas
by MidniteWish
Summary: When Draco Malfoy found three Unspeakables outside of his flat, he was stunned. When he was kidnapped from his home by the aforementioned Unspeakables, he was horrified. When he was brought to the Department of Mysteries and given to the Head Unspeakable...well, maybe that wasn't so bad. H/D. Fluff. One-shot. Complete.


**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their respective owners.**

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"Draco Malfoy?"

"…Yes..." Really, he wasn't sure what he had expected to find outside his door at nine am on a Monday, but three Unspeakables would probably make top ten in the _Things Draco Malfoy Didn't Expect to Find Outside His Door_ list. On second thought, maybe not. To make that list, the possibility had to have been within the realm of possibility in the first place. And it was most definitely not. At all.

"We need you to come with us."

Draco's Inner Ramblings™ stopped dead in its tracks. Well, that certainly didn't sound ominous. Draco's Inner Ramblings™ suddenly tore down the tracks at light speed. He hadn't done anything…illegal recently…had he? Well there was the…and the… He had been so careful in covering his tracks though! There was no way they could be linked back to him. Probably. Maybe. Why hadn't he listened to Pansy and gone into the petting kittens business with her? Oh yes, he was allergic. Damn all kittens to hell. They had made his eye puffy! And he'd kept sneezing! Ugh, sneezing. Such a plebian thing to do, spreading _germs_ everywhere. Disgusting is what it was.

"Ahem."

Draco blinked. Oh yes he had been panicking at being arrested by Unspeakables. He had thought Aurors were the law enforcement. Since when did Unspeakables make arrests? Oh no, they probably only took the worst cases. They'd shut him in some magical chamber and do something Unspeakable to him. He was too young to die! Too beautiful!

"I assure you Mr. Malfoy that your life is not in jeopardy."

How did they know what he was thinking? Were they using Legilimency on him? In which case, he had already given them all the evidence they needed that he may potentially be participating in illegal activities. They did say his life wasn't in danger though. But, they could still torture him! He was onto them now. He would not be going with them thank you very much.

"I'm afraid it is imperative that you do come with us Mr. Malfoy."

They _were_ using Legilimency!

"No you are simply speaking some of your thoughts aloud."

Oh. Well. That was embarrassing.

He cleared his throat, "Nevertheless, I am afraid I cannot. I am a busy man you see. If it is absolutely necessary, you can make an appointment through my secretary, uh…Millicent Bulstrode." There, polite and officious.

"Isn't she the ambassador to Germany?" questioned the Unspeakable standing on the left. Whom Draco had previously thought to be mute.

"She…uh…is my secretary on weekends and weekdays after six pm. Except when she has those fancy events she refuses to invite me to. So what if I don't speak German? I should sue her for discrimination! Then we'll see if she ever refuses me anything again..."

"Can't we just, take him with us?" the Unspeakable on the right whom Draco had also previously thought was mute inquired.

"We're not supposed to…"

"But it won't even matter in the end! As long as we get the job done, who cares how we did it?"

He was right! They would torture him beyond recognition, take away his ability to communicate, then leave him in the locked magical room forever so that no one would ever know what happened to him. He was too young to die! Too beautiful!

"Well I suppose. It _would_ save a lot of time."

Really, he'd liked the two Unspeakables on the side better when he'd thought they were mute.

"The sentiment is mutual." muttered the Unspeakable on the right.

"Gentlemen." the Unspeakable in the middle said, voice full of reprimand.

Draco crooned in delight in his mind. Those prats, suggesting taking him by force. They got what they deserved. The middle one was his favorite. Well, second favorite.

Then the middle Unspeakable continued speaking, "Under the circumstances, it would seem that bringing him with us is the best possible option."

Prats. All of them.

Then he was unceremoniously grabbed by two Unspeakable, each holding him with one hand under his arms and one restraining his hands. Cue panic.

"No! You'll wrinkle my robes! You can't do this! I have rights you know! Hey, watch it! This is silk! Put me down!"

The rest of Draco's protests were lost in the fabric of time and space as the three Unspeakables turned in unison and all four of them disappeared. The sharp crack of Apparation the only thing suggesting they were ever there at all.

Draco's flat door swayed with the air currents.

* * *

He'd been working diligently when his office door slammed open. The silence of his office was suddenly broken with shouts of profanities from a screaming blond - was that a red bow? - and calls of holiday wishes from his subordinates. The door slammed shut and the holiday wishes were silenced. The swearing was not. What was going on? And was that…

"Draco?"

The stream of profanities abruptly cut off.

Then with a cry of his name, Harry found himself with a lap full of distraught Draco Malfoy. A red ribbon with a bow was tied around his neck. What in the world…

"…save me! …and they said I had to go with them… my robes …torture…too young… wrinkled my robes!" was the explanation he got.

Harry made soothing noises and smoothed his right hand up and down Draco's spine as he pondered the events as well as how to explain them to Draco without getting hexed in the process. Taking a deep breath and gathering his Gryffindor courage, he began.

"Err, it might be my fault you were brought here…"

"Your fault?!"

Harry winced. Maybe that hadn't been the best way to phrase things.

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Well…"

"Do you know what I've been through today? Oh the horror! And it's all because of your stupid…"

It appeared that the profanities were back. Harry sighed. All he'd wanted was to finish his work, go home at a decent hour, and mope on his couch about being alone for the holidays. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so.

Still, Draco had a right to be upset at being essentially kidnapped from his home. By Unspeakables of all people. Harry was well aware of the mysterious and somewhat dark reputation the Unspeakables had in the minds of the general public. It was a reputation carefully cultivated and encouraged by generations of Unspeakables and it served them well in their endeavors. Right now however, it was a pain in Harry's arse, and ears. He absentmindedly wondered if Draco's voice was magically modified. And if it could be used a weapon of mass destruction. Harry determinedly pushed his musings aside to be considered later. He did owe Draco an explanation as to why he had been brought here seeing as it was his fault, even if he hadn't been aware of the actions undertaken by his subordinates.

"Draco."

"…prat…robes!…wanker…"

"Draco!"

"What?!"

"Um, well, you see…"

"No, I don't see actually."

"Shut up and let me explain. Ahem. The reason you were brought here is because every year, the Unspeakables holds a Secret Santa Gift Exchange. Being Unspeakables, we have access to artifacts which lets us know exactly what our Secret Santa wants for Christmas so the event is quite painless and a lot of fun. I suspect, that my coworkers have brought you here because youarewhatIwantedforChristmas. I can't be certain of course. As the artifact does not show what you yourself wants so I've never seen what I want, but I suspect-"

His rambling was abruptly cut off by a shy question, "You wanted me for Christmas?"

Harry nodded, face red with embarrassment, "I want you even when it's not Christmas."

"Oh. Well, I can certainly understand why, I _am_ me after all, so I suppose that's alright. And it would be so rude to take away your present, so you'd better keep me then. I still don't forgive your brutes though. They wrinkled my robes! And…"

Harry was sure no artifact in the entire magical world would have been able to keep the smile that appear on his face from existence. Then it no longer mattered because he couldn't keep himself from kissing the beautiful, wonderful, _perfect_ man who was still sitting in his lap for another second.

Luminous silver eyes blinked at him. Then Draco was back to his ranting. This time about how rude it was to cut someone off midsentence.

So Harry did it again. Lashes fluttered as the dazed look left molten silver.

Then Draco drew breath to speak again and Harry hurriedly spoke up, "You know, we have all sorts of useful artifacts here. One of them is the Most Comfortable Bed Ever. It-"

What it was would never be known since Harry's mouth became rather occupied with smiling as Draco single-mindedly dragged him through the twisted corridors of the Department of Mysteries, presumably in search of the Most Comfortable Bed Ever. Random Unspeakables threw themselves every which way to get out of the way of the determined dragon. Really, his…boyfriend? was too cute and Harry really didn't have the heart to interrupt his diligent carving of a path of chaos in the department. The information was rather important though…

"Ah…Draco?"

"What?" he positively snarled.

"It's in the other direction."

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**Review please. _Constructive _criticism welcome. **


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